I hate this body.
I hate these hips.
I hate these breasts.
I hate the reflection.
I hate being in the closet.
I hate living 2 different lives.
I hate having to go into girls bathrooms.
I hate having to change in the girl's locker room.
I hate having to look at my name on school work.
I hate meeting new people.
I hate hearing 'she' and 'her'.
I hate trying to explain to people.
I hate feeling so depressed.
I hate being the 'boyish girl'.
I hate not being able to wear my boxers because I'm afraid people will ask questions when I'm in the locker room.
I hate being so awkward.
I hate getting undressed.
I hate my voice.
I hate how my hair never feels short enough.
I hate the way I fit into clothes.
I hate having to wear bras.
I hate leaving the house.
I hate the thought of my friends parent's not letting me over if they knew.
I hate the thought of losing friends.
I hate the thought of parts of my family disowning me, and ignoring me.
I hate the thought that some of my family will never see me as a boy.
I hate going to school.
I hate crying at night.
I hate walking by a group of guys having a fun time.
I hate having to go in the girl lines.
I hate having to go in the girl group when we're in p.e
I hate a lot of things about life.
But I know one day, it will get better.
And I'll find things in life that I'll love.
Just some poem I wrote
My parents and friends are really supportive though, but my mother is still having trouble understanding it. :I
i didn't know i was different at birth, it took me a while to figure out, my teachers but me in an all girls advisory class when i really just want to be in a regular class, i don't go to gym not only because it's not in my schedule but because i feel uncomfortable in a girls bathroom/locker room because i don't belong there-
The second time I stood up for myself in the workplace, my managers were far more understanding and supported me and respected me appropriately.
I also greatly dislike the process of getting a job and using any kind of computer system that used my legal name (time clocks, official forms, etc) I fucking hate my legal name and did even before I knew what being transgender was.
If your friends can't except you for who you are then they aren't true friends. It's harsh but it's true, so don't let them bring you down.
I dogged the bullet with friends and religious hate but my dad is super Christian so yeah
this stuff is pretty much a life sentence. you might fool others but you can never fool yourself...
thank God it's ok to be trans all by itself.
i hate being called faggot when actually i'm lesbian...
On the down side, my mom say she not ready I accept it, and it's been like, 7 months, and she knows all the crap I've done outta self hate and anxiety and all that good shit.
It's depressing as all hell and I die a little inside every time.
I feel the same about a lot of those things
My advise is to come out unless your family/community is super conservative. It seems you're still fairly young (you mention school) so probably the sooner you get hormones the better they'll work. Also, it's hard to be happy stuck in the wrong gender. I really should follow my own advise.
I can say itll get better not today or maybe not tomorrow but one day everything will get better
(My real name is Andrea -_-)
I hate being the person i dont want to be...
"I hate the thought of losing friends.
I hate the thought of parts of my family disowning me, and ignoring me."
Same here as far as family is concerned. That's why I'm taking HUGE advantage around senior year and college. They even told me to take advantage of being a girl. I was like "WTF?!" What advantage? I mean, I know I will always be XX not XY in genetics but clothes don't have gender! I tell them that and that it makes you feel narrowminded but no. They think I'M narrow-minded!
Though, I hate labeling though. But, it's apparently human nature. I will hate getting my legs waxed unless if there's a health reason behind it. I have yet to find one about that.
I mean I understand, but the word "hate"?
My gender is male, mentally.
I hate the gender I was put into.
I hate the parts I was given, I don't feel like a girl.
Hate is a very strong word, I know.
But you have to understand what this is like.
It's like wearing a suit you can't take off, it's like being stuck in the wrong body.
I can never have a normal life, I can never live the way I want to.
I mean of course, I could live life as a female. But that would just be miserable. I don't know if I could live with myself.
I'm sorry about all that, I could imagine being in a body you don't want to be in, I wish you stay happy and to have good luck with everything, if only technology could soon get advanced enough to really do that, that science could be moved from building killing machines to helping people out instead.
But, I never quite understood what would make someone feel that way, is it because girls around you are annoying (or something) and you don't want to be seen that way? Is it because you're more into things guys do?
I'd rather be trans then live life as women.
It's because to me I AM NOT A WOMAN.
I'm a boy.
I think like a boy, I feel like a boy.c:
Well, nothing really causes someone to feel this way, you're just kind of born with it, you know?
Like someone is born being gay.
It can't be explained.
Either way, you are still human like most of us, you can talk and you can be a friend as much as anyone, so I can accept you as much as I accept anyone because I'm not a close-minded prick
I'm sorry if asking questions like that were bothering you...
No you weren't bothering me at all!
I'm sorry if I came off as upset but I wasn't at all.
Thanks for understanding, I know it's hard to wrap your head around. XD
I'm just one of the guys. c:
Sorry for the late reply. xD
Yeah, I just had to ask, I always worry if I'm bothering someone because I tend to get curious and ask questions a lot XD
I hope you enjoy life and meet good people, best wishes~ X3
I hate how people don't think "why choose a life of pain and discomfort?"
I love this, utterly and completely...